Joke Time!

Sperm count

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the
doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as
on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man
explained:

Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my
right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still
nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,
then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.

We
even called up Arlene, the lady next door and she tried too, first with
both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her
knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked
your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, and no matter what we tried,
we still couldn't get the jar open."







Hahahahaha - What were you thinking?

Ice, your joke is better than Willie's.

GA wrote:Ice, your joke is better than Willie's.

it's a pleasure to have a good sense of humor

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over.Such was his fate in hell.

"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No! I've got this shoulder problem. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"